I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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