Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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