im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
