Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
