Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Randomize
