u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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