Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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