Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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