I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
