Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
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