You're completely useless in the revolution.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
