but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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