I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
