I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Acid is not a monday night drug
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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