I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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