Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
