sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
