She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
