How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
