oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
