I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
