I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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