Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
