Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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