Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
