He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
