Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
