Pants 0. Shit 1.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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