We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Randomize
