I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
