you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
