I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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