ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
