Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
