people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Randomize
