So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
