Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
