Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
