Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
did i walk over a car last night?
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
