I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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