Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
