WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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