Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
