We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize