Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize