I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
