Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
