Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
