You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
