Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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