yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
