That's intense
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
