party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
