the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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