i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
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