im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
