babies were throwing up all over the place
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
