she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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