I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
