Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
