Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
